There are many “Lifelongs” -- ranging from Lifelong Dental Care to a Lifelong Bowling Score. But I think those closest to most of our hearts are Lifelong Friends and Lifelong Learning. This blog is about what I discovered about Lifelong Learning, thanks to two Lifelong Friends.

Laura and Sandy, (married), asked me to register with them for a Monday evening class at the UCLA Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. I responded with an immediate “yes”, confident that anything Laura and Sandy were doing would be very cool and interesting. “What class are we taking?” I asked. I was hoping for something creative, like interior design for beginners or Yoga for the 60 plus body. But NO, they came back with “Astronomy”. Hmmm… 

Now, the entire depth and breadth of my knowledge of astronomy included: being able to spot the Big…or maybe it was the Little…Dipper;  knowing Mars was the red planet and Pluto had been downgraded to dwarf status; and of course, understanding that, no matter your age, it is critical to whisper “Twinkle Twinkle”… upon spotting the first star of the evening. Quite frankly, I felt that my astronomy education was complete.

My friends, who were most eager for me to join them, went on the explain that Osher was for older adults who wanted to “dabble” in a subject. There would be no tests or homework.

“Ok, I’m in.” I just couldn’t resist spending time with them, and what the heck, I figured I might even meet some “interesting” men.

Our instructor was a dynamic, flamboyant, renowned astronomer, who pinned up her hair with chopstick-shaped pins from which dangled charms of the heavenly bodies.  She began by asking the 25 of us to introduce ourselves and say why we were in the class. Great, a chance to check out the crop! 

As the student introductions proceeded, I quickly realized that I was in over my head. A dozen or so were repeat students back for more. Some had even made their own telescopes. There were retired science professors. And one man had even trained to be an astronaut in his youth. He hadn’t made the cut and had become a police officer. Now in his retirement, he had time to  indulge his lifelong passion for all things space.

Whoa! These people actually knew something.

When it was my turn, I sheepishly said my name and something about enjoying star gazing with my family as a child. The instructor politely said, “Thank you, next.” Ugh!  There went my chance of impressing any of the male students. Even worse, I was in for a long 10 weeks.

As the class continued that night, I kept falling asleep. No matter how much I resisted, pinched myself, or sipped water, my head continued to bob up and down.

On the ride home Laura, who is one of the kindest people I know, suggested that, given I get up early to go to work, maybe the class went a little too late into the evening for me. She informed me that I could get a refund for my tuition after the first class if I didn’t want to continue.  I quietly responded, “Let me think about it.”

Inside I was screaming, “I AM NOT A QUITTER.” I knew I hadn’t been dozing off due to tiredness. What had put me to sleep was the fact that the conversation was so foreign. I could not wrap my head around what our teacher was talking about. I was lost in space.

When I got home, my attitude of stay strong and never quit set in. I jumped on Amazon and ordered “Astronomy for Dummies” rush delivery. I called Laura and told her I would continue the class. That week I spent hours in my favorite neighborhood restaurant every afternoon studying my Dummies book.

I arrived at class #2 hoping that I had armed myself with enough knowledge to keep my eyes open. Eureka! I not only stayed awake, I was familiar with some of the references and EVEN LEARNED SOMETHING.

By the end of the 10 weeks, I had not struck up a relationship with a man. However, I could talk about “Black Holes” at a cocktail party.

But the two biggest lessons I had learned were (1) it is never too late to take on learning something new, even something way outside your comfort zone, and most importantly, (2) you might even fall in love with your subject matter.

Here are some of the best tools I have discovered for us Lifelong Learners when  jumping into   the unknown:  My favorite and reliable “Dummy Books”, One Day University, and Khan Academy. If you haven’t already, check them out.

“Once you stop learning you start dying."

Albert Einstein

Candace Shivers is a founder/principal of the Love of Aging movement, along with her good friends and colleagues, Maureen Charles and Liz Dietz.

At the age of 65, following the death of her husband, Candace reinvented herself, launching her current career in the field of aging. She is a champion for older adults living a healthy and vibrant lifestyle and a leader, educator, and expert on the impact of attitude on the quality of life for older adults. Candace currently serves as a Special Projects Manager for Wise & Healthy Aging non-profit providing innovative programming for older adults.

A renowned public speaker, she spent 36 years training people from around the globe in effective communication, leadership, and public speaking – talents she brings to the Love of Aging movement.

Candace is proud to be from Hope, Arkansas, Home of the World’s Largest Watermelon.

Review by: Leslie Nordby

Ageless Women, Timeless Wisdom; Witty, Wicked, and Wise Reflections on Well-Lived Lives by Dr. Lois Frankel. 

Dr. Frankel is a psychotherapist, executive coach and now a documenter of women’s unique lives. The women included were septuagenarian to nonagenarian, with a few centenarians; some are from an earlier time and are deceased; others very much alive. The book opens with the Hasidic Proverb, “For the unlearned, old age is winter. For the learned, it is the season of the harvest.”

This is a treasure trove of wisdom from women who revel in their season of harvest. Full of life stories, memorable quotes, gentle advice, insights and inspiration, the book’s text is complemented throughout by the artwork of Lisa Graves- photos of contributors, photos of nature, and charming drawings.

Perhaps the best way to introduce this book is to share some of what the women interviewed said:

• “Do a good deed and throw it in the flowing river, never expecting anything in return” – ZN, Republic of Georgia
• “If life gives you lemons…look for the vodka”- JM, California
• “Change is the one constant. Don’t waste your time looking for stability. Stay open to whatever happens” – EM, Pennsylvania
• “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.” – EL, Scotland
• “Chi ha tempo non aspetti tempo… simple Italian phrase that means ‘lost time is never found again; do not postpone what you can do now’.” – ND, France

A beautiful homage to the wisdom and ongoing relevance and vitality of elders.

Learn more about Ageless Women, Timeless Wisdom or order it at our Bookshop HERE.

Positive Attitude

There are a remarkable number of studies in the academic literature that have shown that having a positive attitude toward aging is beneficial for a variety of things. For seniors, a good attitude toward aging can positively affect our quality of life, our sense of wellbeing and our longevity. Having a positive attitude toward aging can even reduce the risk of dementia¹ as we age.

But day-to-day activities are also affected by our attitudes. One such activity is how we approach learning new skills, in particular, the technologies that are now so prevalent in our daily lives.

The American Psychology Association (APA) makes the following point:

The technological revolution has made it almost impossible to separate how we conduct our social lives, business, healthcare and education from the technology that allows us to do so. With vast information flowing to and from our fingertips, the way people interact with the world has fundamentally changed. 

In a previous blog, I talked about the importance of staying connected with the friends and family that make up our social network. These connections are vital to reducing the risks of loneliness, which can lead to depression, but equally important are the positive effects they have on our brain health.  

We all strive to maintain our social networks, but that looks very different for seniors in 2020 than it did for our grandparents. As the American Psychological Association points out, more and more, technology is used to stay connected with others, and mastering this new technology can often be a challenge for us seniors. When it comes to our willingness to embrace technology, having a positive attitude can help us improve our self-confidence and perceived self-efficacy.

Attitude, Anxiety and Self-efficacy

Let’s talk about self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is not the same as self-confidence. The APA defines  perceived self-efficacy as: “An individual’s subjective perception of his or her capability for performance in a given setting or ability to obtain desired results”. If we believe that we can learn something new and valuable, we are more likely to try to master that behavior. This is where self-efficacy comes in. If you believe you can do something you are  more likely to try it and be successful at it.

On the other hand, if we are anxious² when we approach a new learning experience, we are much more likely to struggle to learn and much more likely to give up if we feel confronted by potential difficulty³. Having a positive attitude about life and aging makes us more likely to view new experiences as surmountable challenges rather than insurmountable barriers. Having a positive attitude creates a greater probability of experiencing perceived self-efficacy, resulting in greater willingness to take on new learning experiences.

Technology

Many older people are intimidated by technology. Probably because we didn’t grow up with it. However, technology is especially important for seniors. One study described the importance of web-based learning for older adults. “Web-based health information is particularly important for the increasing number of older adult online users. One strategy to deliver synthesized, evidence-based health information to these individuals is through Web-based learning modules.”

Another study drew similar conclusions. They described trends in the field of healthcare, specifically for an elder population including the rapid pace of technological development, the unprecedented growth in the aging population, and the growing and unsustainable cost of caring for the aging population. They see the use of technology for patient education as a means of getting ahead of these trends:

So, it is important that we be able to use technology to help us manage our interface with personal healthcare providers. Also, as mentioned earlier, it is important that we be able to use technology to maintain our social interaction with others as well as for capitalizing on the many benefits associated with technology.

In my last blog I discussed the aging brain and how our memory works. I discussed the importance of the hippocampus for creating long term memories. When I looked at positive attitude and how it affects our self-efficacy and hence our potential for learning new technology, I found an interesting study that talks about the relationship between a positive attitude and learning:

We found that positive attitude was associated with increased engagement of the hippocampal learning-memory system…increased hippocampal activity and more frequent use of efficient memory-based strategies mediated the relation between positive attitude and higher math achievement. Our study is the first to elucidate the neurocognitive mechanisms by which positive attitude influences learning and academic achievement.

What’s in it for You?

In the case of attitude change, there are myriad theories on how best to create change in our attitude. Offering you advice on how best to do this is somewhat difficult. There are a couple of theories that we can work with to help us change our attitude and hence our perceived self-efficacy toward the adoption of more technology. But before we look at possible strategies for changing our attitude let’s explore some of the many reasons why it would serve us well to adopt a more positive attitude toward exploring and using technology.

Social Media. Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook, and Twitter are just a few examples of social media applications. These applications are excellent for staying in touch with friends and family. Facebook, for example, can allow you to share photos and comments with others and gives you a chance to comment on material posted by your friends. Social media is very popular with younger people, but it can have a very positive effect on seniors looking to stay in touch and share life experiences with family and friends.

Tools. Electronic Calendars, Email, Skype, Zoom,. These tools are excellent for staying in touch with friends and family, and a no-cost way to see interact with grandchildren, even those living halfway around the world. Zoom, of course, is extremely important for almost everyone given our current struggles with the pandemic. Business, social groups, and individuals are using Zoom and other web-based conferencing applications for creating and supporting groups of people talking and interacting face-to-face online. What better way to have a weekly meeting with family and friends than to schedule a Zoom call? I know people who read bedtime stories to their grandchildren on Zoom.

Shopping. Amazon, Instacart, eBay, and Etsy. Online shopping is here to stay. Most retailers now offer an online shopping app. Online shopping has become so popular and necessary, that some brick and mortar retailers are going out of busines or switching over to online sales only. Grocery shopping is also accessible via technology. Using a computer or a smart phone, you can order your groceries to be delivered from places like Whole Foods, Costco, or your neighborhood grocer via the Instacart app. This can be a lifesaver for those with mobility issues.

Online learning. TED^TM Talks, One Day University, Udacity, YouTube, Museums, and National Geographic and Websites for research and exploration. Online learning is very important to me. I use it all the time, and I taught psychology online for over ten years at the University of Phoenix. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent online watching YouTube videos and TED Talks. (If you ask my wife, too much time.) I have even toured museums and traveled to many foreign places online.

Messaging. Smartphones, WhatsApp, and Facetime. Smartphones are a standard accessory and tool in modern life. If you don’t have a modern smart phone there are many for sale on eBay for as little as $100.00. Many people use the texting feature on their smartphone. It has become an international obsession. Texting is a great way of connecting instantly with friends and family. It has almost taken over from making phone calls. My cleaning ladies, dentist, and dog groomer use text messages to remind me of appointments and when to pick up my dog.

Wellness. Medical Interfaces, Meditation apps, Exercise apps for seniors. As described above, there are opportunities for seniors with some basic technological skills to interface directly with their healthcare providers. I belong to a large healthcare organization in Northern California that allows me to login to my online account and review notes written by my primary care physician or any specialists I may have visited. The notes are a recap of what was said or discovered during that visit. This is becoming an even greater trend for more and more medical professionals going forward. And my wife uses a meditation app on her smartphone, a practice which greatly affects her mood and attitude.

So now what? We have seen that a positive attitude can have a significant effect on how we age. We’ve seen that a good attitude can help us create better perceived self-efficacy and that can help us improve our relationship with an important element of our life, technology. We’ve explored some of the benefits of utilizing technology. Now we need to look at some possible ways to shape our attitudes and create an interest in technology.

Attitude Change

If your attitude in general, and your attitude toward technology in particular, needs adjusting, let’s look at some ways we might be able to work on it.

Attitude change advice is hard to offer since the strategies for creating attitude change typically involve forces from outside the person who is needing to change their attitude. In the academic literature there are numerous theories on how people develop and change their attitudes. A couple of theories I have been familiar with since college are cognitive dissonance theory and self-perception theory.

I don’t want to spend a lot of time on theoretical stuff, but I want to maintain some degree of academic integrity, so I need to acknowledge the authors of these theories. Dissonance theory was first proposed by Leon Festinger in 1957. It has become part of our vernacular. I’ve seen it and heard it in popular media. Self-perception theory was first proposed by Daryl Bem in 1972. Self-perception theory has been used in the context of psychotherapy for many years.

These theories basically say: Go and do what you think you’re not good at, and the fact that you are doing it will cause you to change your beliefs or attitude about that behavior. Instead of the usual method of changing behavior which is to change our thoughts about something which will lead to a change in behavior, instead we need to engage in that behavior to change how we think about it. This is the reverse of how we usually think about attitude change. Sounds great in theory but how do we get ourselves to begin to interact in a meaningful way with something we have no perceived self-efficacy toward?

As I see it, there are three thing we need to do. First let’s look at our self-talk. When we think about approaching technology what do we say to ourselves? Maybe it’s something like: Oh my God I can’t do this, this will never work, I’m too old to learn this, people will make fun of me when I can’t do it, people will think I’m dumb. None of those things are true! Let me share a personal story that illustrates my point.

I enrolled in a PhD program in 2001. I was 53 and apparently one of, if not the oldest freshman ever to enroll in the organizational psychology program at the university. I went to orientation and bought all the books (they were still using real books back then). I took a large stack of books home and decided to read through a couple of them. The first book I picked up was The Conduct of Inquiry by Abraham Kaplan. I started to read it. Chapter one page one. I read about half a page but wasn’t sure what I read. The language and writing style seemed odd and convoluted to me. So I reread the page several times and still didn’t understand what he was saying. I panicked! I mean really panicked. I got a knot in my stomach and started to sweat. I had the overwhelming realization that I was too old to be in a PhD program. My brain was too old, and I had been out of school too long. I wanted to drop out. My wife was out of town, so I called her and told her what happened and that I wanted to quit. She talked me through it, and I agreed to give it a chance. I went to class the first day and my entire cohort, made up of students much younger than me, was complaining about that very same book. We all thought it was bizarrely written and unreasonably difficult to understand. Long story short, I struggled through the book and passed the class, and went on to earn my PhD. That is an example of how negative self-talk can influence our prospects for achieving success.

In this example I didn’t talk myself into believing I would be successful, and I didn’t change my attitude toward the rigors of the program. I just agreed to take on the challenge, even if I failed. I stopped saying “I can’t do this” and started saying “I’ll do the best I can”.

This brings us to the second step in changing our attitude, which is to actually engage in the behavior we want to avoid. If you can clean up your self-talk long enough to get yourself engaged in the behavior you need to engage in, you have the opportunity to create that cognitive dissonance. If you are actually working on a computer or texting on a cell phone, then it will be difficult for you to believe that you can’t do it, since you are actually doing it and gradually becoming more proficient. Your attitude will change, and you will accept the new reality that you can use technology in a productive manner.

Of course, there is still the leap from zero to something. The best way to manage this is with the support of others. Instead of avoiding taking that computer class for seniors at the community center just sign up and show up. As the saying goes, 80% of success in life is just showing up.

Here is a link to an excellent website Senior Planet that offers a number of excellent self-help videos on a variety of computer and cell phone applications. You can use sites like these to get you started to help you adjust your attitude by realizing that you are in fact using technology.

Once you get even the smallest amount of success you can move to the third stage in creating a new and improved attitude toward technology. Acknowledge yourself!

This takes us back to the cognitive component of attitude change. Once you learn to do something, use positive rather than negative self-talk. Avoid saying things like: “Well, anybody could have learned that” or “That was simple, I can’t do the complex things,” etc.

Look at what you have accomplished and acknowledge yourself. Try saying, “That was awesome, I’m on my way” or “Good first step, I’m committed to learning this”.

This is how you make the change in your attitude. By doing!

Endnote: Some of the references used in researching this blog were found on a commercial digital library site (ProQuest). Because many readers cannot access them by hyperlink, I am giving the reference citation in case someone wants to look them up.

References

¹ Positive attitudes about aging reduce risk of dementia in older adults. (2018, Feb 07). Targeted News Service  

^2. Bandura, A., Reese, L., & Adams, N. E. (1982). Microanalysis of action and fear arousal as a function of differential levels of perceived self-efficacy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 43(1), 5–21.

³.Taylor, J. A., & Spence, K. W. (1952). The relationship of anxiety level to performance in serial learning. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 44(2), 61–64.  

 Ed Lopez, PhD, Love of Aging’s Science Editor is a retired organizational psychologist, university instructor and researcher. His research has been presented at international conferences and published in a peer reviewed journal. Ed is also a decorated Army veteran who served in Vietnam. 

Waiting for the Weekend

My dad chopped the end of his index finger off in a metal bending machine when I was eight. He was a blue-collar guy and worked in a factory. His job was cutting and bending sheet metal that would end up in box folding machines. It was hard, messy, dangerous work.

The index finger plays an important role in gripping a golf club and there was a strong possibility my dad wouldn’t be able to play golf again. That was bad news because his passion was playing golf on weekends. 

He was a model employee; he did impeccable work and was well regarded in the workplace. He neither loved nor hated his job. It was just a job, the place he went Monday through Friday to get him to the weekend. After recovering, he was excited to discover he could still play. In fact, his game actually improved after he lost the finger.

Many years later when he retired everyone thought he would spend his days on the golf course. We were wrong. A few weeks into it he took a new position doing what he’d been doing most of his life – bending sheet metal. No one could believe it until he explained that his new position was not about bending sheet metal, rather it was about contributing to and helping expand the game he loved. You see, my dad was now manufacturing golf clubs.

A mentor once told me there are three pathways available in a working life; a job, a career, and a calling. While jobs and careers are plentiful, very few people are called. At 65 years old my dad found his calling. I know if he was still around today, he'd be asking people this challenge question—

What can you commit the rest of your life to accomplishing that would enhance the quality of your life and the lives of others?

If you’re so inclined, hang out with this question for a while. Create lots of ideas and possibilities. Stay with it and look to be called.

After completing 40 years as a creative director and educator in advertising, Julian Ryder founded The Right Brain Project—a creativity education and training firm helping leaders build creative cultures within their organizations. He is also an activist with The Hunger Project and ArtCenter College of Design in Pasadena. When not working, you’ll find Julian playing golf, skiing, or surfing.

Hello! I’ve got exciting news about August 21^st.

I’m betting if I asked most of you what is special about August 21^st, with the exception of those who have a birthday or anniversary, you would respond, “I dunno.”

Well, congratulations, you’re with billions of people around the planet who haven’t got a clue. And I am out to change that, to put August 21^st  in the spotlight. 

August 21^st is World Senior Citizen Day!

Now I happen to travel past an iconic doughnut shop on my route to work, and on June 5^th, National Doughnut Day, they’re lined up around the block because EVERYBODY seems to know it is National Doughnut Day.

But World Senior Citizen Day–who’s  ever heard of i that? Well, we’re going to change that and create an uproar around World Senior Citizen Day.

If you look it up on Wikipedia, the point of the day is to raise awareness of the challenges faced by older adults, including diminishing health and elder abuse. And amen to that. We bring out our the trumpets to get everyone’s attention on those issues.

However, there is little focus on the kinds of things we hear from members of the movement daily about their vitality, sense of accomplishment, and love of aging.

I am inviting you to join us on August 21^st at 2pm Pacific Standard Time for the world’s first Global Celebration of Aging. For 90 minutes, we are going to celebrate, have a musical performance, give out awards, hear from people around the globe, share what we love about aging, and Zoom dance.

And the best part is for the first time since we have created this community, we will come together via Zoom.

Love Of Aging is hosting this event in collaboration with WISE & Healthy Aging, a Santa Monica, CA, based nonprofit whose purpose is to advance the dignity and independence of older adults.

You can register by clicking here. The registration page will say “Oasis Lifelong Adventure”.

When you register, you will be asked to make a $5 tax deductible donation to WISE & Healthy Aging to help them fulfill on their purpose.

The night before the event, you will receive a Zoom link from WISE & Healthy Aging via email. Click on that link to access the event from your computer, smart phone, or tablet.

You are welcome to invite people of all ages to join us; after all, everyone is aging. However, you are the stars of the show. 

See you at the world’s first Global Celebration of Aging!

Candace Shivers is a founder/principal of the Love of Aging movement, along with her good friends and colleagues, Maureen Charles and Liz Dietz.

At the age of 65, following the death of her husband, Candace reinvented herself, launching her current career in the field of aging. She is a champion for older adults living a healthy and vibrant lifestyle and a leader, educator, and expert on the impact of attitude on the quality of life for older adults. Candace currently serves as a Special Projects Manager for Wise & Healthy Aging non-profit providing innovative programming for older adults.

A renowned public speaker, she spent 36 years training people from around the globe in effective communication, leadership, and public speaking – talents she brings to the Love of Aging movement.

Candace is proud to be from Hope, Arkansas, Home of the World’s Largest Watermelon.

A Social Quid Pro Quo

About ten years ago I started thinking about retiring. I lived in Mexico and was teaching university students online, having already stepped back from the most active elements of my career working as a consultant for large organizations. A few years later, I moved back to the US and slowly wound down my teaching work. It took me a few years to go from “thinking about it” to making it official, but for the last three years I have been fully retired.

At first it was kind of nice; I had no serious responsibilities. I had no clients to call, no student papers to correct, and no research duties. Life was good…for a couple of months.

However, after catching up on my reading list and binge-watching Game of Thrones, I started to get bored. I started to not have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I would lie there and think about what I had to do that day: Let’s see…coffee, read the local paper (bad news), surf the net (more bad news), and walk my dogs (the high point of my day). I started to wish I had kids and grandkids. Maybe I could offer some sage advice about something or nurture a sick child. Anything to make me feel like I was being of value as I had when I felt my clients and students held me in some regard. I had no real friends nearby so visiting them was out of the question.

I had lived in this state of mind for a few months when I started to realize it was affecting my mental health. I was starting to feel depressed...

Fortunately for me, my wife was beginning to wind down her career and that helped give me some much-needed social interaction. But still, I needed to be needed–like I was when I had a career.

Then one day I stumbled onto an article in the local paper written by someone who was a local “Master Gardener”. I figured if you were a master gardener then you must have a degree in botany or horticulture or something. But I was interested, and a blurb at the end of the newspaper column gave a web address for the organization, so I checked it out.

The first thing that caught my eye on the Master Gardener website was that they had something called the helpdesk. The helpdesk would diagnose your plant problems and give you possible solutions. Cool! The second thing I noticed was that they were looking for volunteers to join their organization. I wondered what it would be like to volunteer as a master gardener, so I inquired.

Long story short: I didn’t spend ten years thinking about this opportunity. I signed up, got interviewed and accepted, went through the formal training (quite extensive), and started doing my volunteer hours. Now, I am one of the people who mans the helpdesk.

Three things of value have come out of my master gardener experience. First, I am learning so much about plants and gardening, always been a casual interest of mine. Second, I have developed a new social network with a variety of interesting people with distinct backgrounds. Third, I am being of service to my community.

If you are a senior, and retired, volunteering is a great way to make friends and serve others in your community. It’s a great way to put some meaning back into your life.

Why Volunteer

Social participation. In a previous blog I discussed the relationship between loneliness and depression. I advocated for developing and maintaining a social network to stave off loneliness. Volunteering is an excellent way to do that and at the same time create the feeling of satisfaction that comes with being of service.

Research has shown that active and productive engagement in society is a key element in successful aging. When seniors increase their levels of social participation, we have a reduced rate of suicide, better physical health, reduced mortality in general, and higher levels of psychological well-being. Research has also shown that volunteering can help prevent depression.

Being of service. Even if your social life is robust, and your primary focus is not on expanding your social network, you can reap the psychological benefits of being of service to individuals and your community. Being a master gardener volunteer, I get to help people solve problems with their plants, develop and deliver library talks on a variety of gardening related topics, and establish a network of new friends in my community.

Another way I volunteer is by writing blogs for Love of Aging that, hopefully, inform seniors of things they can do in their lives that can support their successful aging.

Researchers have looked directly at the health benefits of volunteering as we age. One study concluded that for seniors, volunteering has a negative relationship with mortality; seniors that volunteered had a 44% lower rate of mortality than seniors that did not volunteer.

Another study showed other significant positive results for seniors who volunteered: Older volunteers reported a wide variety of benefits to the people they served, themselves, their families, and communities. More than 30% reported that they were “a great deal better off” because of volunteering, and almost 60% identified a benefit to their families.

Being of service to the community not only helps the members of the community that are being served but also those that are being of service.

Types of Volunteer Service

There are a large variety of volunteering opportunities available to seniors. One way to get our head around them is to organize them into different models. Here is an example of five distinct but overlapping models for understanding the nature of a specific volunteering opportunities:

Formal. These types of opportunities tend to be more formally organized and involve the delivery of services. These roles tend to be more strictly supervised and more highly structured.

• Volunteering for the library cart in a local metropolitan hospital
• Delivering meals to older adults through services such as Meals-on-Wheels
• Providing activities and outing support in an aged care facility
• Volunteer driver for a service organization
• Volunteer animal care giver for organizations such as the ASPCA
• Volunteering in tourism, museums, large charities and emergency services

Informal. Non-formal volunteering occurs in a variety of community settings. This type of volunteering is done in local communities and centers around specific social needs.  Volunteers work in unfunded, less structured settings.

• Volunteering for a neighborhood group
• Running the snack bar for a community sporting or recreational group
• Coordinating the sale of merchandise for a self-help group
• Volunteering for a specific hobby group
• Providing services or support through a mutual support group

Governance. Governance volunteers serve on boards and management committees. They provide leadership and direction for the organization.

• Secretary for the local soccer club
• President of a service club, such as a local chapter of the Kiwanis
• Serving on the board of an NGO

Social action. Social action groups are similar to non-formal groups in that people come together around a shared interest but differ in that social action groups have an interest and passion for bringing about defined changes.

• Volunteering for an environmental group
• Political lobbying
• Getting out the vote
• Volunteering for a community action group
• Lobbying for change for a specific target group of people or cause

Projects. Project work is for people with specific periods of time available and are seeking out volunteer opportunities with clearly defined timeframes. These opportunities typically involve high levels of volunteer involvement over a short period of time. The idea is that the volunteer has a specific set of skills that can be brought into an organization for a specific project.

• Volunteering to oversee the plan and construction of a new building
• Running or assisting at a specific event
• Redesigning the website for an organization
• Volunteering to write a marketing plan for a community group

Volunteer Opportunities

Ready to stop thinking about it and volunteer? If you type into your web browser “volunteer opportunities” the search results will be overwhelming. There are thousands of opportunities out there. Here are ten examples from one website I found:

1. Animal Rescue Shelters. Local animal shelters almost always need volunteers. There may be administrative opportunities or working with the animals like dog walking.

2. National Parks. You can help maintain trails, gather scientific information, and even act as a docent.

3. Food Pantries. Food pantries and soup kitchens can always use a helping hand organizing a local food drive, raising money, or simply handing out hot meals to those in need.

4. Habitat for Humanity. Brush up or develop home DIY skills while helping other less fortunate folks find shelter.

5. Local Libraries. Libraries typically need help organizing shelves and assisting patrons, and you may also be of help setting up and running public events, such as author signings and book fairs.

6. Art Museums. Get involved in the community by volunteering for family programs and children’s activities at your local museum. Once you build up your knowledge base, you may qualify to be a tour guide or event planner.

7. Political Campaigns. No politician gets elected without volunteers manning the phones, distributing fliers, raising money, and answering emails. This kind of work can provide you with valuable experience on many levels and can be applied to a host of different industries.

8. YMCA. You can volunteer to help both children and adults, strengthen your leadership skills by coaching a sports team, or pick up some valuable teaching experience by tutoring literacy courses.

9. Retirement Homes and Senior Centers. Offer to give a lecture or teach a class. Offer your services utilizing your set of skills

10. Red Cross. If you don’t feel like giving blood, why not greet and assist customers looking to do so? Your skills may make you a good fit for grant writing, performing clerical tasks, or managing other volunteers. If you’ve got the drive, you can draw on any number of talents to help the Red Cross

Win-Win

Volunteering can make you feel better and actually help you live longer. That’s a big win for the volunteer, but also there is a win for the organizations we support and the individuals we directly assist. Put yourself out there and meet people and support your community. It’s good for you and good for them.

Ed Lopez, PhD, Love of Aging’s Science Editor is a retired organizational psychologist, university instructor and researcher. His research has been presented at international conferences and published in a peer reviewed journal. Ed is also a decorated Army veteran who served in Vietnam.

I have prided myself and promoted to anyone who would listen that I am YOLD (young/old). To celebrate my 70th birthday, I ran my first half marathon. At 71, I took Bollywood Dance classes. I have traveled the globe, and last year at the tender age of 72, while in Tibet, I hiked in the Himalayas. (Before you get too impressed, a van took us up to the hiking spot. “The hike” was more like an hour’s walk before reboarding the van. But it was the damn Himalayas, and people could barely breathe.)

A few months later, as I was turning 73, without warning I noticed the first symptom of old person's disease had snuck up on me. I was in the act of standing up after having been seated for an hour, when I caught myself making that sound that the elderly make when standing or sitting down....Ahhhhh, like an exhale. Not the good Ahhhh as in AWESOME.  This was the creepy ahhh of something taking too much effort.

I wasn't about to tell anyone, but I started to have dark thoughts....

Perhaps I was now “on the offramp” – that inevitable gradual decline into morbidity.

Then, WHAM! I received a sign when I stumbled across this quote:

"Old age is the only disease you can catch by imitating its symptoms."

– Mario E. Martinez, Psy. D.

The sun began to shine, birds sang, and my spirit soared. I put myself in reverse and backed right up that offramp. And I vowed to keep a keen and wary eye out for any sign that I might be falling prey to imitating any of the dreaded symptoms. 

What I want to share with you is what I have learned in my brief journey in and out of the dreaded “old persons disease”. Not only have I identified the symptoms, but I have found a cure for each.

4 COMMON REVERSIBLE SYMPTOMS AND THEIR CURE

Symptom #1: Slowed walking and reduced gait.

This is an indicator that you fear you are becoming fragile, losing confidence, and concerned about your sense of balance.

Is it reversible? A study that was done with people from 60 to 90 years old to determine their “swing time”–the time the foot is off the ground when a person is walking. Swing time s realyed to balance and can indicate if someone is becoming frail. The participants were asked to walk so their swing time could be measured as a baseline. Then the subjects were divided into two groups and asked to play a simple computer game.  Unknown to the participants, the game they were playing contained subliminal messages. The first group received positive messages, such as “wise," “astute," and “accomplished."  And the second group received negative subliminal messages such as “senile," “dependent,” and “diseased." After playing the game, the participants were asked to walk again. The group that received negative messages lost swing time and started walking as if they were actually senile, dependent, and diseased. However, the group that received positive messages increased their swing time. This transformation seems to be solely due to their unconscious thoughts. For both groups, sense of self had an immediate impact on bodily function.

Cure #1: Strut your stuff and pick it up!

When walking down the street, the game I play is to spot someone much younger about 10 feet ahead of me, pick up my speed, and pass them. You will be surprised at how fast you can move when there is competition involved. When I pass them, I smile and say to myself, “Eat my dust!”

Symptom #2: Letting younger people help you when you can do it yourself.

I found myself saying “yes” to offers to take people’s seat or to carry something for me. Wasn’t it my time to cruise through life and let others take care of me?

Studies were done on the impact of personal responsibility on the health of residents in a nursing home. One group of residents was told that they could arrange the furniture in their rooms however they wanted, pick which nights to attend a movie, and select plants to keep and care for. A second group of residents, was told that the staff “want to do all we can to help you”. They had their furniture arranged for them, were told which nights to attend movies, and were given a house plant cared for by a nurse. After three weeks, almost all residents in the first group experienced significant improvement in physical and mental well-being; whereas, most participants in the second group declined or stayed the same.

Cure #2:  Don’t let the sweat dry!

Keep active. Stagnation kills. Just say, “No, thank you.” If you can do it, do it.  For bonus points go the extra step and help others. Open doors, give them your seat, and if you are feeling bold, carry their package.

Symptom #3: Not having a reason to jump out of bed each morning

The Japanese call this having an ikigai (pronounced ick-ee-guy): a direction or purpose in life that makes your life worthwhile and towards which you take actions that result in satisfaction and a sense of meaning. Science suggests that beyond just feeling useful, a key need for successful aging is to feel that you have played your part in leaving the world better than you found it.

Gerontologists report that many of the ills associated with aging have been worsened—or even created—by the lack of meaning and purpose in people’s lives. Many older people suffer from psychological pain, far deeper than the physical, as a result of not having a reason to get up in the morning

Cure #3: Get an Ikigai! 

To discover your purpose, you must first find what you love, what the world needs, and what you are good at. Then, find the medium through which you can express that passion. You might want to make art, spend time with children, or volunteer in your community. (See Become a Volunteer by Ed Lopez.)

Symptom #4: “I am too old for that."

From your mouth to God's ears. You’re in real trouble when you (and God) start believing this.

A famous longitudinal study on aging and retirement found that people with a positive attitude toward aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than people who don’t. In fact, people’s perception of aging had a greater effect, positive or negative, on healthy longevity than did lowering cholesterol or blood pressure (which according to the study, increased longevity by 4 years). Perception even had more of an effect than non-smoking, which adds 3 years to your life.

Cure #4: STOP SAYING THAT! 

Put some ridiculously youthful goals on your bucket list. And begin saying, thinking, and being that this leg of the journey is an opportunity for a fresh start to being the person you have always wanted to be.

I am confident you’ve got the point by now. However, I would like to leave you with this final thought: Playing the game of being forever young is a sucker’s game. You are not going to win. Playing the game of being YOLD (Young Old), vital, engaged, active, and having a great attitude toward aging is a game worth playing. 

References:
Ohio Longitudinal Study on Aging and Retirement, 1975-1995 
Nun Study - School Sisters of Notre Dame
Giving Seniors a Subconscious Boost

Candace Shivers is a founder/principal of the Love of Aging movement, along with her good friends and colleagues, Maureen Charles and Liz Dietz.

At the age of 65, following the death of her husband, Candace reinvented herself, launching her current career in the field of aging. She is a champion for older adults living a healthy and vibrant lifestyle and a leader, educator, and expert on the impact of attitude on the quality of life for older adults. Candace currently serves as a Special Projects Manager for Wise & Healthy Aging non-profit providing innovative programming for older adults.

A renowned public speaker, she spent 36 years training people from around the globe in effective communication, leadership, and public speaking – talents she brings to the Love of Aging movement.

Candace is proud to be from Hope, Arkansas, Home of the World’s Largest Watermelon.

The conversation that woke me up

It was the fall of 2018, and I was having what I thought was a casual conversation with my friend Gordon Starr–just two business leaders catching up on what we were up to personally and with our work–one of many such conversations we’d had over the years. Then I mentioned that my 65th birthday was approaching and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that milestone. How had 65 crept up on me so fast?

”You’re approaching 65. So you’ve got maybe 25 years left. How are you going to spend the next 25 years of your life?” Gordon asked.

What?  This was no longer a casual conversation.

“Try flipping your aging paradigm like I did,” he advised. “I have 22 years left, and I really recommend looking at how you are going to take advantage of what life has given you so far. How will you make the maximum difference going forward?” 

Whoa! Gordon’s questions had stopped me in my tracks. I needed to think.

Quite honestly, I had never spent much time thinking about the future, or dare I say, retiring and aging. I was focused on the now, on whatever project I was passionately engaged in each year. And there was always more to do than I had time for. The future was a concern I didn’t have time worry about. It would all be fine as long as I kept feeding my 401K.

The truth was, that until it was right in front of me, the end of my life had always seemed way far away. But Gordon’s conversation woke me up. I did the math and generously calculated that at 65 I really did have about 25 years left.

Assuming I had good mental and physical health, 25 years seemed like a good amount of time, but I know from watching family and friends die unexpectedly that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I also have a familial history of dementia, and I carry both APOE 4 genetic markers, which increase my chance of Alzheimer’s. Against this background, my context became: I don’t have a minute to waste.

I still had a lot of things I wanted to experience and areas where I wanted to make a difference. I needed to take action. So I decided to retire the following year, once I hit 66.

What of my work? I was passionate about and committed to the large project I was working on, but I knew the project would be far enough along in 12 months that I could feel comfortable retiring from the tech company I worked for.

I notified the company of my plans, but I am pretty sure no one believed I would actually retire. As my self-imposed retirement date approached, my employer asked a question I had never considered: Would I work part-time? I could give up my VP responsibilities, become a “Fellow” mentoring younger leaders, and provide general industry guidance around the project. This was one of those really great offers you can’t refuse, and after careful thought and much discussion with my husband and close friends, I decided to take it.

Sounds sweet, right? Well, for someone like me, used to being in the thick of things, weighing in on every decision, having responsibility for so much and well, being “important,” it wasn’t that easy. One might call it an identity crisis; it sure felt like one.

No one worked for me any longer. I wasn’t in critical meetings. I didn’t manage a budget. I didn’t call any shots. And I didn’t always agree with the approach others took. What the heck was I doing?

My new role was primarily that of a coach. I had done some executive business coaching in the past and I’d been pretty good at it. I’d taken it seriously, and the people I’d coached had accomplished quite a bit. I had also led transformational programs and coached participants in those programs. Okay, I told myself, you can do this. Put your attention on the success of the folks you are mentoring–on what they say they need. Listen and ask questions; don’t give them the answers.

Yeah, I knew the mechanics of what to do, but like most things, my new mentoring gig was easier said than done. In the beginning, I found myself getting in the way. A lot. My ego (who me?) knew what they should do. I wanted to lead the witness and put my answers in their mouths.

For me, the process was downright painful.

I had gone from being an executive at the helm of a big project to being “the straw that stirs the drink” – someone who inspires others to action but isn’t at the center of the action herself.

I had huge doubts about this role. Was I really needed, or had I become one of “those people” who simply don’t know when it’s time to move on? I didn’t know, but I had given my word to stay the course for six months, and I am not a person to break my word.

It took me weeks to finally forget about myself and focus on them. But my mentees seemed to be getting value. They came to our conversations with good questions, and discovered they already had the answers. They’d just needed a sounding board and a little guidance. Inside this relationship, they were growing and blossoming.

Eventually, I realized that by supporting other leaders’ growth, I was making a difference in a much more sustainable manner. I was leveraging my skills and experience in a way that, while subtle, had real impact. I was a catalyst.

To my surprise, I found this new role to be deeply fulfilling. And I started to have fun. Maybe I was also growing?

As I recently told Gordon Starr, who checks in periodically to see how the transition is going: I am happy to be “the straw that stirs the drink.”

And that is a really great place to be.

Liz Dietz is a founder/principal of the Love of Aging movement, along with her good friends and colleagues Candace Shivers and Maureen Charles.

Liz has spent the last 35 years devoting herself to the professional goal of transforming higher education through technology. Her experience includes designing, building, marketing, and supporting innovative software solutions in the education market.

Her interest in the concept of healthy aging began in 2006 when she served on the Wise & Healthy Aging Board of Directors while participating in the care of her mother who was suffering from dementia. As a Boomer in her mid-60's, Liz is at work creating the next and grandest chapter of her life starting with Love of Aging. 

All the lonely people. Where do they all come from?

There have been very few times in my adult life when I really needed to cry. The one time that stands out for me I was stationed in Vietnam with the First Infantry Division. You might think that there is a lot to be emotionally distressed about when serving in a war zone and you would be right. However, I wasn’t crying because I was afraid, I was crying because I felt incredibly alone. I was far from home, living with a bunch of men I hardly knew, and I was not sure if I was going to make it back. I thought about my family and friends and how much I missed them. These thoughts all came together to create an overwhelming sense of loneliness. 

Even now, 50 years later, I find myself sometimes being lonely. My wife and I have no children, and my wife is frequently away from home traveling on business. I can spend days in the house alone with my two dogs; reading, writing, surfing the net, gardening, and watching TV. Having been an academic, I’m used to spending a great deal of time reading books and journals. A very solitary endeavor.

To my advantage I don’t require a lot of social activity. I enjoy my own company and easily find ways to entertain myself. But the truth is, even a recluse needs some human interaction, which is why I’m always happy when my wife, who is very sociable, comes home. My biggest problem when it comes to feeling lonely is that I’m not very sociable. Sociability is important if we want to ward off loneliness. A lack of sociability can even affect our mortality, if it leads us toward depression.

Loneliness

Loneliness can be defined by two factors: one is our desired level of social interaction versus two, our actual level of social interaction. If you desire more social interaction than you have, you are at a greater risk of feeling lonely. The research on loneliness seems to be broadly divided into three areas: childhood and adolescence, early adulthood, and senior populations. In the younger groups, the variables that tend to get looked at are personality traits, social skills, and cognitive processes. For seniors, there tends to be more focus on longevity issues such as health, income levels, transportation, and social power.

Social power seems like a candidate for a lot of loneliness issues if we assume that being in ill health and not having transportation to visit others, which may result from reduced income, can cause us to lose control over our ability to interact with our social network. Regardless of the reasons, it is not a good thing to be lonely. Just the emotional experience of it is negative, but also, and perhaps most importantly, it can lead to depression.

Loneliness and Depression

When I was studying psychology at UCLA back in the 1970s, I recall hearing a professor refer to depression as the common cold of psychology. By that he meant that we all get sad or down or even depressed at various times in our lives, but things change, and we recover and move on. As we age, we may have bouts of depression that are more difficult to recover from. This is especially true when we experience a sense of loneliness.

There is a mountain of research on the relationship between the cognitive states of loneliness and depression. Some of these studies seem to have conflicting results. The one thing that is consistent in these findings though is that loneliness and depression are highly correlated , especially in older adults. That is to say, if you are experiencing loneliness you are much more likely to experience depression. I believe, however, that even though there is a strong correlation between loneliness, aging, and depression, this does not mean that as we age, we will automatically get depressed.

So, what counteracts loneliness? Certainly, one important way to ward off loneliness, and the resulting potential for depression, is that thing I rely on my wife for: being more sociable.

Sociability

The American Psychological Association defines sociability as: “Sociability is the need or tendency to seek out companions, friends and social relationships.” As we age it becomes more difficult to maintain our social connections. We may lose our spouse; our children may move away; and we will lose friends due to the normal rate of mortality for our age group. One certain way to ward off loneliness in the wake of these circumstances is to work at being more social. Sociability is important in seniors because it can help keep us from feeling lonely. If we have a fulfilling social life, we are much less likely to feel lonely, and hence depressed.

Improving Social Interaction

So how do we maintain our social network when we can’t drop by to visit our family and friends? How can we enhance and maintain our already existing social structure?

First, the answer is to actually be sociable. Yes, I know that can be difficult if you’re a bit reclusive like me or even if you want to develop and maintain new friendships but feel awkward trying. The thing is, you need to make an effort to stay in touch with the family and friends you already have. Invite them over. Host a game night. Establish weekly or monthly get togethers, so being together becomes routine and you have something to look forward to. I have found that it’s better to have an occasion in the calendar, and then move it if something gets in the way, than to schedule nothing.

To increase your sociability, you may also need to make an effort to meet new people. Where do the older people in your community meet? Is there a senior center nearby?  Where do the locals play bridge? There are groups for everything. Find the people who are interested in what interests you. I joined a gardening club and became a Master Gardener.

Second, you have to find a method that will allow you to achieve your social goals. This becomes more difficult as we age. We may not have transportation to actually go visit friends, or we may be dealing with health challenges that keep us from getting out at all. We may even be self-quarantining in the face of a pandemic.

I don’t think there is a perfect substitute for shaking hands, hugging, or kissing family and friends, but if it is just not possible to be with them physically, then technology can help.

A recent San Francisco Chronicle article described a series of social apps that can help us stay in touch with family, friends, and colleagues. Among the apps discussed, I think two have the greatest potential for helping us stay in touch with our social networks. The first one is FaceTime.

The trusted FaceTime app, available for all Apple devices, connects you to friends and relatives from all over the world, and it couldn’t be easier to use. Once downloaded, your contact list will show you who’s already using the app, and from there the route to a smiley, live face-to-face conversation is very short. Marco Polo, available also on Android, offers the same mood-boosting closeness, but on your own terms; short video messages can be recorded, decorated with funny backgrounds and effects, and sent to anyone who needs some love.

Here is a link to a You Tube video for beginners on how to use FaceTime.

The second app which I have just recently begun to use is Zoom. Zoom is especially good for communicating with more than one person at a time. You can see dozens of people at a time on your computer screen and they can see you and talk at the same time. My wife and I recently hosted a virtual baby shower using Zoom with about twenty people online talking and playing games. Zoom can be a valuable tool for staying in touch with friends and family, and a basic subscription is free.

The star of the COVID-19 crisis, Zoom is a conferencing app that’s intuitive, easy to join and allows participants to share their screen with the rest of the group. The Basic option limits your meeting to 40 minutes a session, and doesn’t allow recording, but you can “host” an endless amount for participants. While meeting, your friends and colleagues can secretly message each other in the Chat window (hello, gossip!) or chat with everyone at once. Currently popular with workout-class instructors, Zoom is also perfect for a collective dance party.

Here is a link to a You Tube video on how to use Zoom.

So, there it is. The two most important aspects of sociability are to want to be social and to have a method for being social if your social network is not readily available to you. Working toward greater sociability, and thereby fending off depression, can help us feel better and live longer.

Ed Lopez, PhD, Love of Aging’s Science Editor is a retired organizational psychologist, university instructor and researcher. His research has been presented at international conferences and published in a peer reviewed journal. Ed is also a decorated Army veteran who served in Vietnam.